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The only problem is my doing those things did not result in my H knowing I feel lost, confused needing patience and a listening ear. You have realized that and can give that gift to your H.

Yes, the goal is not for him to realize this is you but for you to see him this way so that you approach the conversation differently. If you see him as lost, faithful, confused, needing you, how would you talk to him? Would you ask about ow? Would you feel anxious around him? This is how I need to be...my h has no clue what to do or even how to deal with me and even though we have gone to a c...he has not given any indication that he will return for individual c. The key the c was trying to make with me is that I need to change my perception of h so that I can interact with him in a different way...one that will hopefully result in him opening up to me.

I was like you in that I've told h that I feel lost, want him home, asked about ow, etc. My 180 would be to see him as wanting to come home, not knowing how, scared, insecure, etc....this is calming my anxiety as I type . I've tried other things...but like Michelle says I haven't tried everything...just done more of the same! This is new to me.

I keep up to date on your situation. We are all pulling for you. Try to detach as much as you can from h...don't get sucked into his drama. You are doing a great job by posting here instead of taking it out on h. Keep up the db'ing.

Cindy