OK, thanks for clarifying, but I'm still confused by the position that you're taking, Return.
This:
Originally Posted By: Return10
I'm not even going to get into whether he's having an affair. I'm concentrating on being the best I can be and being as helpful as I can to all these people that I love in a way that benefits me too. If H is acts a pill, sooner or later he'll figure it out, I'm going to forgive him and be an example of kindness to him.
doesn't jibe with this:
Quote:
PS To clarify, if I did find out there has been another affair, I would definitely leave the marriage, won't go through that again.
You say it's a dealbreaker for you, there's evidence that he is, he's had an affair before, and yet you're not going to try to determine the truth of what's going on? That just makes no sense to me.
I can understand and respect (but disagree with) those that say "it's not a dealbreaker," and I certainly understand (and advocate) the position of "It's definitely a dealbreaker, so I'm going to verify whether or not he's having an affair before deciding what to do." And even the stance of "I'm just going to ASSUME THAT HE IS, since all of the evidence points to it, and proceed accordingly" works.
But "It LOOKS like he is, it's a DEALBREAKER for me, but I'm just not going to worry about that" . . . I just don't get that.
