Sorry, I was writing with a lot going on around me and probably was a bit incoherent. I'll try again: Codependence is a big problem but so is the notion that we are independent. What we are and the best we can be is interdependent in a healthy way. No one gets very far all by themselves and when support and true caring thrive people do the best. These forums are a great illustration of that.
This evening went better but still rough. H wanted to show D a gift that he got her: 8 CDs worth of Live Aid from the 80s. She was busy about the house and was politely watching as she could while getting things done that need to be done. H was offended. Not as badly as last night but, shesh, this is his interest not hers. He's always a bit this way but this week has been a bit much. I'm not even going to get into whether he's having an affair. I'm concentrating on being the best I can be and being as helpful as I can to all these people that I love in a way that benefits me too. If H is acts a pill, sooner or later he'll figure it out, I'm going to forgive him and be an example of kindness to him. I am very interested in reading Michele's book about Changing Your Husband. We'd all be happier especially my H! Can't get it now cause we're headed home in a couple days. Any tips that might help my situation? PS To clarify, if I did find out there has been another affair, I would definitely leave the marriage, won't go through that again.
me: 57 H: 54 M: 18 y Affair over on Dday: 6/99 Never split-up but it was a hard road D: 38 GD:18 I forget so I come back here I know these principles are the way to go which ever way it goes!
