W came home, seemed deep in thought. Said that she was scared of everything all the time; that I'd turn on her (kick her out, like I told her on Sat Night), that she'd fail her daughters, fail me, etc. etc.
I listened and validated, kept my pie hole shut.
Later on she said that it would be disrespectful to our years together to just give up on things quickly, but she still thinks that she'll need to separate to figure out what she wants. Again, I just listened, didn't offer my opinions.
While our daughters were getting showered for the night, I asked her if she was going to MC on Monday out of fear, or because she wanted to make our marriage work. She said she hoped the counseling would work, but she was scared of what would happen if it didn't.
I said that if that happens, I'd be fine, she'd be fine, and the girls would adjust. She asked how I could be so calm and self assured. I said that life is too short to go through it being afraid of everything lurking in the shadows, that I had spent most of my life being afraid of being hurt, and that it had become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She was pretty surprised, and asked "when did you become evolution man?" meaning, learning and growing. I just smiled and said I've had a crash course the last couple of months on learning what I want in life.
Monday will be really interesting. My DBing will continue, I'm still GALing, keeping up with my 180s, exercising like I'm training for the Olympics, and eating incredible tasty, healthy food. Still amazes me that I actually ate so much crap.
My expectations of MC are pretty low, though I'm keeping a hold on my hope. I'm interested in how our C will approach us. I have no clue about what advice or strategy he'll recommend, but it should be interesting.
Hopefully he'll convince her that lots and lots of sex is the sure cure...
