Originally Posted By: Grocerykartman
Probably should update this out of my own need to vent. Tomorrow morning is the court date. My wife emailed me earlier this afternoon saying she felt awful, was doing a lot of crying and definitely did NOT want to go through with it. She wanted to know what I wanted. My only response was: Did you tell OM you will never have any contact with him EVER again? She said yes, I told him. I asked when? She said last night, then she reiterated it again this afternoon. I asked why was there a need to REITERATE if she talked to hi last night. She said she just wanted to make sure they both understood. Makes me uncertain she went ahead and did it, but for now, I'll take her word for it.


Kartman,

You're at the 11th hour of a divorce, and you'll take her WORD for it???

WRONG ANSWER.

Ask her if she'll send him a no-contact letter -- the content of which is to be approved by YOU, and the letter should be DELIVERED by you (so that nothing is added or subtracted).

Ask her if after that, she will agree to FULL TRANSPARENCY with you. She changes her cellphone number and e-mail addresses; new cellphone bill has detailed billing and comes to YOU; MCing, preferably with a MC/FT who specializes in infidelity.

Absolutely NO CONTACT, and if she says she'll do that, you'll CONSIDER putting the legal stuff on hold for 90 days, but ONE STRIKE and she's OUT.

Do you think she'd agree to that? This could be fear on her part, it could be false remorse, or she could be sincere. The thing is, you don't want to go to your death bed having NOT given her chance, if she IS sincere.


If you could put a no-contact/transparency plan in place (and at least ONE of the transparency intel channels should be something she does NOT know about, for obvious reasons), and if you could get good family therapy, it might work.

What do you think?

Puppy