I have a mixed feeling about what the DB coach told me.
The intention of keeping in touch with a positive tone was to keep being friends I guess, as all R starts from there. In my case H was unstable and all over the map (who wouldn't be) with angry outburst emails, and asking him to please don't/ completely ignoring them and sending positive response didn't help at all. So I thought I'll show it in action: NC. My plan was to go dark for a few weeks then respond--- but after a week of NC I felt so much better, I was able to truly detach!
The best thing of this NC was that it brought me to the 'neutral state' to ask myself if I really want this man back, and it cooled my head to conclude I deserve someone who wants to work on it. (I stopped chasing, in other words)
I must note, my belongings from overseas are with H and I will have to see him sooner or later... and I plan to move back to H's country but to a different city.
