My New LBS Reality

[irishblessings]

Ok Lin - I see you registered here in 05. When did your reconciling occur? I'm just curious - not as a comparison - just in the cycle.

For you to address all of my questions like that is so, so generous! I felt completely and utterly alone. Like I'm so thickheaded - what don't I get about all of this? I just have been stuck for a few days now and I'm not sure why - except for the loneliness.

Yesterday S asked his dad for $ for a new basketball. H said he couldn't afford it. At this point I am sure he is saving every nickel and dime to pay for a divorce so that it will FINALLY be all over. That hurts...

But enough about him. There is nothing I can do about him. I have to make myself move on / move forward. I am working through the "who am I" "what do I want" questions. Trying to stay strong for my kids, especially my son, working full-time, and grieving is wearing me out. I need to give myself permission to "do nothing" for awhile. I keep avoiding making my plans...scared, sad, overwhelmed. But I know I will feel better.

I also feel so isolated - even out in a crowd - like I am defective. How have I allowed this crazy-a$$ man to have so much power over me???