First off, I have never said I always wanted to…but I have to say that I like your spunk! I really do. Are you sure your not from NY? LOL
Seriously thought I have a question for you.
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Got through the entire meal without looking at him once.(in reference to your H)
Why didn’t you look at him and how did you feel afterwards? As for the why I would not be surprised if said something like…”I wanted to slap him” 
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This calm has me puzzled.
Can you say acceptance! Acceptance in that you know who you are and what YOU bring to the table.
P – I am sorry that you are going through a nightmare with your MLCer H. As hard as it can be you really need to limit any communication that you have with him. Leave it up to the L’s. Just do what is right and just, which is hard when they want to inflict a fair amount of pain, which is driven by their feeling of entitlement.
P, have a beer. Sit back and relax. Enjoy your grandkids. If your H contacts you via email don’t answer. If he contacts you via phone, don’t answer. If he knocks on the door don’t answer.
Right now he wants to get you to agree to something that is in HIS best interest. What you need to do is to find the balance between what your L says YOU are entitled to and what is truly fair and just. Do the right thing by your and do not worry about what he says or how he feels. You know he is broken and you know that YOU cannot fix him.
Now is the time to let the L’s sort it out. Often we try and push things or control them rather than let what is going to happen and happen. Sit back sweetie and just chill.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
