In your case there was a third party sabotaging the marriage... It's very difficult to make a marriage work when you have an outsider trying to drive it into a ditch...
In most cases this is an affair partner, but as you've already hinted by your screen name this can just as easily be an in law... in laws are one of the big problems of marriage
sex, money, in laws... there are a few more
I really don't like assigning blame, to my mind this is just bringing the business of blame culture into your home. This practice doen'st make a business run well, and it won't help a home either in my opinion.
Your H isnt' working with you NOW, that's a more important point to make
If you look at a marriage and its not working well looking into the past just promotes a climate of blame, I don't find that constructive... right NOW your H needs to man-up... The ball is in his court.
