I concur. You did great. She needs to learn the differences between being CONTROLLING and SETTING HEALTHY BOUNDARIES. Look at Puppy's examples of the differences. You followed them well with your "I statements".
Going on dates is a great idea if she is fully committed to working on YOUR marriage that doesn NOT include any 3RD parties. Flirting included. This is not respectful period. Especially with someone that should be rebuilding your TRUST.
