Hi Return,
Sorry you are having problems. I agree with the advice others have posted, and perhaps this link on detachment will be helpful: http://www.livestrong.com/article/14712-developing-detachment/

Sometimes we become wrapped up in what our S are doing (or not doing!) it affects us very negatively. I especially like the detachment poem at the end.

And definitely read the DB and DR books! Read through as many threads here as you can. There's a lot of support here. Hang in there!