When you don't respond to that stuff, she'll eventually get the hint. I do want to caution you though. The D needs to be a long term outline of what you want, not based on what you do right now. That means that if you want 50/50, you need to set it up from the start. You can't count on her being willing to change it later. Also, since time equals money(support) in a D, she could get very comfortable with you paying more and seeing the kids less.
Also, don't use time with the kids as manipulation. If she wants you to have the kids and you can, do it. She'll only hurt herself and you'll built a great bond with your kids.
