I don't think my W thought I would follow thru on the D either. I think you did everything right except offer your opinion on her employment. I think staying out of those discussions are easier after the D is filed. I just keep telling my self I have no say in what my soon to be EX WIFE does so I am not going to comment on it even if asked. All that happens is you give your opinion that differs from hers and now you are in an argument about something that she is going to do on her own anyway.
Detach! GAL! Do not think about her (try hard) as much. Keep busy!
Last edited by Chuck66; 08/17/1003:30 PM.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
Detach! GAL! Do not think about her (try hard) as much. Keep busy!
I know, I know.
The longer the day goes on, the more anxious I get. Anxious, nervous, sad, whatever. It is starting to feel like the day of the bomb all over again. This time I know how to control myself a little better.
Take action in the face of fear, right? I know what I have to do.
There is always a chance. Don't give up hope. You still have to do what you think is best.
It is about the action you take. Do not make threats or suggest something if you do not really want to follow through. Make sure what you are willing to do before you tell her that you are going to do it. It will just become a viscious cycle for you and cause you more heartache and pain in the end.
I am not saying to divorce, but I am saying do not bring it up again unless you will follow through with it.
She will continue to respond the way she has because she does not believe you are serious.
I hope I do not come off sounding unsympathetic to you because I really want things to work out for you in your sitch. I am sorry for what you have been going through. It is so difficult and hurtful for you and the kids. I feel your pain, and I hope you come up with a way to be okay for your sake and the kids.
My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ME-41 W-33 M-8 D-8 S-4 D 5/17/2010 www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1961097#Post1961097
I have given up hope IDU, but I am not necessarily suggesting you do the same. You just have to come to accept that whatever will be will be. Somehow we have to detach our STRONG emotions from our hope. We can be hopeful, but not so hopeful as to pin our happiness to it. It is difficult, but look at what she has done and continues to do. Can you really love someone who continues to do this to you?
Keep telling yourself whatever you need to to stay strong and focused.
I'm sorry that it has gotten to this point for you, but you have to keep moving forward with your life.
I don't love her right now and can't while she is acting the way she is.
I know that most of the success stories on here have gotten to this point and even further. Greek moved out, Puppy filed, Steve, Sandi, etc. I know this isn't the end. When the rings came off, God, it was like being punched in the gut. It's getting worse as the day goes on.
I will be okay, I know. I just have to suffer through this stage and carry on to the next. Lead and be strong. Don't let her see that I'm hurting.
IDU - U r doing great!! I see you getting stronger with every post. Remember this is NOT about YOU it is HER decision.
Also remember she doesnt know what she doesnt know. She thinks she knows, but has no idea... Until you experience it for yourself it's nothing compared to what family and friends are telling her.
The sooner YOU take CONTROL of the situation the better. Figure out a co-parenting arragement asap. If you haven't already. Show her what life as a single mom will really b like. Do exactly what Steve suggested and Puppy and every other pro on this site suggest which is tell her "YOU do not want to be in an open marriage and if she does then she needs to move out asap. YOU WILL NOT BE DISRESPECTED LIKE THIS. YOU will not let HER DISRESPECT YOUR FAMILY like this.
Get a copy of Hold on to your Nuts if you haven't already. Become the man you want to be. Not a nasty, disrespectful, jerk like she and her girlfriends are expecting, but a STRONG, CONFIDENT, RESPECTFUL MAN that has BOUNDARIES and SELF-RESPECT that will not be trespassed on by anyone. Let alone a insecure, social butterfly that is being brainwashed by her teen-age hormones.
Think Popeye. "I've had all I can stands, I can't stands no more! Time to eat your spinach!!
You know how you roll you pen in your hand and it makes a clicking sound on your ring? Yeah, I've been doing that all day and there is no clicking sound anymore.
I know there are much worse things than this to come. Such a small reminder of what isn't anymore.
I know everything you posted is true. I have become stronger. It is her decision. Just not feeling so strong right now. We have had this convo before. I guess the ring thing is bothering me. I have wondered for months why she was still wearing it. It shouldn't be that big of a shock.
My W continued to wear hers until I asked her why she was. Then both our rings came off pretty quickly. She is still doing my laundry and I can't figure out why. She is also cooking meals and generally acting friendly, but I still can't wait to leave. only 2 more weeks.
Dont focus on the negatives and what you could be losing.
Instead focus on what a STRONG and CONFIDENT WARRIOR you are becoming for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN. A MAN that YOUR FAMILY will be PROUD of.
Keep your chin up and keep fighting for your family. Stop giving your WAS so much POWER and CONTROL. Cut the puppet strings. She is not capable of making rational decision while under this chemically induced spell. So dont give her so much credit.
