She said that if she came back and it didn't work, she would likely commit suicide. She said she was serious - she didn't think she could handle the marriage not working for the second time and her losing the OM relationship.
This is nothing more than a power play and encourage her to get therapy and counseling, but do not validate anything she says that is related to this.
My ex tried a similar line of reasoning, which was pretty much putting the pressure on me to make him happy or telling me what I would or wouldn't do (example - like yours - I know you would never take me back, blah blah blah). She's still trying to assert control over you and you have to recognize it for what it is.
If she says that she would commit suicide, you should encourage her to go to counseling to discuss those suicidal thoughts. But do not feel moved by her plight bc it is an extraordinarily selfish one.
Rather than focusing on her self-extermination that is in the balance of a relationship working out (or not), throw it back to her saying that the kids would probably miss their mom. And I don't know about her fake Christian church, but you might also remind her that to Catholics, suicide is a mortal sin, and that you would pray that God forgives her when she dies.
But remind her - at every point - that she is responsible for her own actions.
Ps: Her talking about suicide is a major red flag, and it's usually a sign of mental disease. You can't help her to get better but make sure you get a lawyer to ensure that everything related to the terms of your divorce are airtight. She should retain a lawyer as well.
There are cases where divorce proceedings and custody arrangement can become invalid if one spouse is mentally ill (as it sounds your wife is). By having it go through legal channels, the lawyer is responsible for the legitimacy of the claims.
In a nutshell, she can't say she was nuts and taken advantage of and wants to change things at a later date. She'd have to challenge her lawyer first.
