The thing that is amazing is that my wife thinks she is entitled to spousal support when she did me wrong.
The sad part is that she MAY actually be entitled to it. What seems morally wrong is often legally justified. Separate the two , so that you can keep your feelings in check.
Originally Posted By: Bob
Its all about money now and what more she can get from me.
Welcome to the wide, wide, wide , world of MLC....
Originally Posted By: Bob
I gave her my life and I helped both our families. I never asked for anything in return. I only gave unconditional love and all I get is hate and resentment.
You're gonna get awfully lonely on that soapbox my friend.......
My advice would be to perch yourself in front of a mirror and start taking some long, hard looks.
What role did you play in the breakdown of the marriage ?
What were her complaints ?
Did any of them "sting" ?
What is your role now ?
What can you do to REALLY become a Father to a 15yo daughter ?
Originally Posted By: Bob
My wife's own family think she is screwed up.
I'm not so sure it's a good idea to be talking to them. Blood tends to be thicker than water , and the more YOU spray on them, the more you try to manipulate their relationship with their daughter.
Find YOUR path and walk that one.
Most come here looking for that magic pill to take. The one that allows this to end quickly.That's not gonna happen Bob.
MLC is a looooong road.
Right about now ( according to your register date ) , reality is setting in that this is not gonna end overnight. That there is nothing you are gonna say to change this. That is a cold hard truth that you are gonna have to accept.
That there is nothing YOU can do, except find the Bob that is under the layers that have been covered up during the years of your marriage. The you, that was lost along the way.
That is the work on yourself, the only person that you CAN control right now.
I'm not gonna blow sunshine up your skirt here, this schidt is hard....
Especially when you are facing the legal crap that goes along with it. Separate the "moral" side from the "legal" side of things before you make any decisions. Right now, your spouse views this as a business decision. And you had better get that mentality as well.
DO NOT make any decisions without thinking them through. If it is something you do not understand, consult your lawyer.
Enable the 48 hour rule for yourself.......
Anytime there is a decision to make where there is emotion in play, wait 48 hours to respond to it. It will give you time to really think about what you are doing, and take your anger out of play.
Lastly......read....Read all that you can about MLC.
Use the resources that Cadet posted for you....ABSORB them , and really understand what you are dealing with.
There is no timeline, your goal is to outlast her MLC.
Find a way , everyday, to take a step forward.....
