Thanks, Steady. As you can see by the time, I didn't really sleep last night.
I really appreciate your perpective this mornig.
Originally Posted By: Steady
When we're hugry, angry, lonely, tired (HALT) is when we seem to be most vulnerable.
I'm going to have to keep this one in my head.
Originally Posted By: Steady
You are moving through a process which has a life of its own. You can move around inside of it, but it is un-tamable and uncontrollable. Think River and you're in a boat. You can paddle around in that river, but it's taking you somewhere....
I understand this and it seems a good analogy but I gotta say I'm not pleased by the helplessness and pointlessness of the situation. Why am I paddling?
Originally Posted By: Steady
Like I said in your last thread, I thought you'd been at this for a year, year and a half.
Though I initially accepted this as a compliment for "grasping the concepts and making progress" so quickly, it now scares me that what you were really saying is that "relax, this nightmare goes on for another year and a half-at least"
I don't know how I'll do "this" for another year plus. I realize that improving me will take a long time to ingrain habits and all that. [I was saying to OM's ex last night (she ws having a bad day so I texted here a few encouraging things. And NO, we don't talk about "them")that she has fewer bad habits to unlearn than I so she'll be done faster.]
But fruitlessly paddling for another year just seems so pointless. I can't imagaine still having these feelings, thoughts, aggravations and "riding the caoster" for another year or more.
I know you and Missher and Gritter, et al, now and in the past have lived through worse than I'm going through and for longer. I figured that since your sitches were the exceptions and you were all tougher than most, that's how you all became "Enchanters" (as I used to say to Puppy). But if it's really because everyone is going to have to "exist through" this for a long time, I'm not sure if I have "the legs" for the duration. I certainly can't see living the last 4 days over and over like Groundhog Day (though not aging would be nice until I get through this/get it right)
Granted, regarding HALT, I am too tired to feel any of the other three right now, I may be a little pessimistic. But I can't be optimistic about paddling if it's wasted energy.
