Oxygen, yes! I saw that Where the Heart is was next. I thought it ironic. they're doing a pregnancy- WAS theme thing!
Yeah, the text isn't too weird. But ever since the birth his texts have been overly excited. Multiple smiley faces, exclamation points, etc. So... it made me notice when he was like "yeah. next time."
but whatevs. I'm now researching losing baby fat! Grr this stinking stomach of mine...
I liked Juno first time I saw it. Was very original, and broke the whole 'young mum' taboo, I seem to remember; as in, putting it in a sort of postitive light (cos she was a likeable character, right?). I'm sitting on the fence re his text - though, if I had to go one way I'd say he's having some down time. So don't pursue him! My 2 bobs worth.
Me 36; H 40 baby born in May M:13, T:15 Bomb (OW): Dec 09 began DBing: Feb WH overseas with OW old: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2027369#Post2027369
I agree with Piano- don't pursue. Please let me know what you find out about the baby fat! I just remembered(as I am typing this) that I bought "The Flat Belly Diet" and need to go read that book. BUt I also have nutrisystem food left over and have to start pilates! lol!
Now, my friend C swears that it just takes a long time post baby for the skin on the stomach to firm up again....for her, it was when her S was around 18 months! She gained 50 pounds, though. You said you didn't gain much weight, right? Here it is, 13 months since I gave birth, and I have lost almost all of my 80 pounds. Am thinner everywhere else except my hip/lower stomach area which is flabby.
So maybe, G, it is too soon to expect it to be gone without the help of the celebrity's diets and personal trainers! ???
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
All I learned about belly fat is I have to have PATIENCE and keep working hard. My impatience is now a defining characteristic of mine. Great!
Some Thich Nhat Hanh quotes for us all:
“Life can be found only in the present moment. The past is gone, the future is not yet here, and if we do not go back to ourselves in the present moment, we cannot be in touch with life.”
“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”
“The miracle is not to walk on water. The miracle is to walk on the green earth, dwelling deeply in the present moment and feeling truly alive.”
“Live your daily life in a way that you never lose yourself. When you are carried away with your worries, fears, cravings, anger, and desire, you run away from yourself and you lose yourself. The practice is always to go back to oneself.”
“If you look deeply into the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive in this moment. Each is present in your body. You are the continuation of each of these people.”
“Drink your tea slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves - slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future. Live the actual moment. Only this moment is life.”
Glad you liked them! I do too. I could read them every day.
Quick update:
1) WH told me yesterday that he would email me about counseling because it was too difficult for him to talk about. So far no email. I have a feeling he wants to tell me that he doesn't want to do it anymore. It just annoys me now. It's like, "oh, please. Been there done that."
2) Yesterday before he said that about counseling, I sort asked him to go to a baby movie with me and little girl. (not a movie about babies, but a movie where you can bring babies.) He totally said that he could take her, or I could. But he averted us going together.
So in the last week something changed. Actually, I think it changed on Saturday. That's when his texts changed.
He said there might be something wrong with him. Yeah, I think so. This is ridiculous.
That's all for now!
me, 30 WH, 29 D born June 2010 M: July 2001 Bomb/S: 1/14/10 Done with it all.
Ok, that is frustrating. But my therapist reminded me of how people can do an "approach-retreat" pattern when they are being indecisive like your H (and how my stbxh was acting).
So, as BD does, just float and then just don't bring up the email thing yet... don't worry, G! I am not worried for you! but I do think you could be right about Saturday? Even if it is because he has bi-polar and his mood changed.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I was going to say exactly what NM suggested. Could this back-n-forth business be a result of his possible bi-polar?
If he has bi-polar, you have a hard road ahead and have to accept his new H. The one with serious depression. I know you have the strength to do this, but it's early days and this diagnosis is not really even confirmed, right?
What exactly did he say when he said he might have something "wrong with him"? Does he still have his cold? Is that what he meant, possibly?
The way I see your sitch is like this. WH wants to come back to you but he needs you to be moving forward, leading, and he, because of his problems, needs to be lead. This requires you moving on, moving forward, keeping your back to him. Don't face him head on, but every once in a while look back over your shoulder to check if he is following or not. But do not confront him and ask him "Are you following?". Because he will only be able to say "No" or "I'm not sure" or "I'm ambivalent". Be strong for your little girl, and for WH, who, we think, has some serious psychological issues which are gripping him. He's not reliable right now, but you are. He's weak now, you're strong. If you love him, love him by guiding him but asking him for nothing.
That's my take on it. But I totally get that you already have one child right now, and want a partner, not another child.
When he said something was 'wrong with him', he definitely meant in the mental department. Depression or bipolar or something. We still haven't talked openly about it.
Originally Posted By: Piano
The way I see your sitch is like this. WH wants to come back to you but he needs you to be moving forward, leading, and he, because of his problems, needs to be lead.
Yes, I totally see this. I worry that this is a habit, though, that needs to be changed for us. But maybe not, maybe that's why we click, I don't know.
Quote:
This requires you moving on, moving forward, keeping your back to him. Don't face him head on, but every once in a while look back over your shoulder to check if he is following or not. But do not confront him and ask him "Are you following?". Because he will only be able to say "No" or "I'm not sure" or "I'm ambivalent". Be strong for your little girl, and for WH, who, we think, has some serious psychological issues which are gripping him. He's not reliable right now, but you are. He's weak now, you're strong. If you love him, love him by guiding him but asking him for nothing.
