Allen, you told me so.

[Piano]

My father is the type of man who is likeable but who changes his values according to the person he is talking to.

He cannot come right out and criticise my H with any authority because my step-mother was his former 4-year affair partner. It started during my mother's pregancy with me.

He feels guilt; my sitch has stirred all that up. But he would never go so far as to say his relationship with my step-mother was a mistake, esp since it bore my two beloved step-brothers.

I should never have believed my father when he said he would go in to bat for me in a discussion with H. I should have known that he'd lose his balls and try to be all pleasant with H.

Apparently my father has been overheard at various social occasions saying how H was 'like a son to him', the 'most brilliant man' he'd ever met, that I'm doing well, and that in one year everyone will be 'friends'. He likes to gloss things over.

The worst one was when my mum said to him that I need an explanation as to what happened so I can move on. And he replied to her, "it's pretty simple, isn't it? He fell in love with someone else".

Once, when I was about 10, I was snooping through my step-mother's belongings and I found a card my dad had written here. All it said was, "Stuff the rules, I love you".