When kids are involved, should you point out certain events to your spouse about how the kids are hurting. The wife and I have been split for 9 weeks, shes been back and forth and fianlly friday said to the pastor that if things "changed" the marriage could work and she wanted the family togther, but she is watching her words very carefully and still is not too hopefull. Here lately my 4 and 6 year olds have been asking when mom is coming home over and over ( we split the 50/50) but I see them more because of her hours). Tonight I drop the kids off at her moms (where she lives) and 4 year old got very sad, said he would miss me and asked me repeatly "if I could spend the night", of course it killled me. I want to call and raise hell but of course I didnt, but is it ok to repectfully talk about this situation, with out it looking like Im trying to "use" the kids, becuase Im not!. I just hate to see this and with her recent words about what could happen, I want to say since u know it now, get off your butt and do it so it will not hurt my babies any longer than it needs to, so is that a bad move?
Yes its a bad move. You can not change another person. That goes for staying in a M AND for making them a better parent. You can only be the best parent YOU can. This situation is like a war and the kids are unfortunately collateral damage. We all just do the best we can with what we got but we still can't change others no matter how eloquent our argument.
Last edited by Chuck66; 08/17/1003:36 AM.
Me 44, W 39, S 6, D 6, M 21 Bomb June 18, 2010 I filed D July 20, 2010 W filed counter suit Aug 2 Rings came off Aug 5, 2010
This situation is like a war and the kids are unfortunately collateral damage.
I'm in the same boat Lee....collateral damage....that is what they have become...sad
Last edited by didthehurt; 08/17/1004:03 AM.
me 36 W 33 s-6 s-4 together since 1991 married Dec 2000 9years first affair before we where married. Second affair 1/2007 Gone Nov,2007 Back June 2008. ILYBNILY---i cannot believe you did this 7/22/2010
4 and 6 year olds want to know that they are loved. They want to know that even if you split up you both will love them and take care of them. You don't need to have deep conversations and shouldn't. Try to have fun with them as much as you can - distraction works really well at that age. Answer their questions, but realize they are concerned about who will love them and take care of them - that is what is driving their questions.
If they see that you are upset, they will pick up on that. Acting "as if" for the sake of my child was easier than doing it for myself.
He: WAH Me: LBW Precious: DD
~ I'm grateful for every day I have to improve the way I relate.
