He always says "I'm ready and willing to sit down and work out a settlement before this ends up in front of a judge."
Of course this is what he wants --- the 'ready and willing' implies that you are the one that left, and he is willing to allow you to have a no fuss divorce. He must truly think you are completely out of your mind when it is he that is off the track. Weird.
I would tell him "no, you cannot pick up the papers because they are not here. Once again, H, it is at the lawyers' office. Do you have a problem with your memory?" He just keeps on hacking away at this, doesn't he?! He probably thinks that if he carries on and on, you will get tired and just say 'yes'. Like a child, "pleeeeeze mommy, can I have some candy, pleeeeeze, pleeeeeze, pleeeeeeze, pleeeeeze, can I have some candy, pleeeeze, pleeeeeze, ad nauseum ....." I don't know if you were like this with your children, but if they carried on, I would put them in a time-out in a room where I can't hear their constant whining. And only let them out if they were going to stop asking for stuff I wasn't going to give them, and anyway, "I had said NO, and that's not going to change." The more they nag, the less chance they have of having any kind of treat.
Perhaps, this is how you should treat your H. The more he whines about the papers, the more you distance yourself.
Just a thought.
Oh, and perhaps you shouldn't be there when he comes around for the non-existent papers?
Last edited by BeingMe; 08/16/1008:33 PM.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
Well I wrote him an email telling him how I felt. I tried to be as civil as I can, not only because it is what I want, but because I copy all our emails, and I want to show that I am not the unreasonable B@tch he makes me out to be. I dread the response.
John has not even read the papers yet. I can tell you that I have had advice from people I truly respect to not sign. Some of those opinions were that it wasn't even smart for you at this time. If you think I cannot be damaged by this, you are wrong, or simply can't or won't see the long run. I've already talked to Edith. You get what you want, and I could still get stuck with this house and credit damage. I'm doing everything I can to work with Aunt Nez to get it sold. Even considering an open house when it cools down. The point is I don't trust you. I have no reason to trust you. That is not said out of malice or spite, and certainly not out of hate. You have not been honorable to me since the first week of March that I know of.
I don't take this lightly. There is a home I dearly want, but I just can't now. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. I do what I can. I turn up the air to 80 when I leave for work, and never below 76 when I'm home. I expect you will react out of anger. It seems to be where you live these days. Please don't. I don't even like having to do this on email, it seems so impersonal. I could wait and have my lawyer call your lawyer call you, but I don't want it that way. I'm sorry things have to be this way.
Punkin, I really think all you need to say is that your L has not looked at the papers yet, you will not make a decision about them until he does, and that when that happens, one of you will get back to him. Why poke him with all the rest if you don't have to?
M 65 H 64 T 39 & M 36 @ S 12/08 Two Ds
Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. ~ The Weather Man
Sorry, I already emailed it. Plus, he wasn't going to leave me alone. He emailed me three times and called my cell once. He really thinks I have a private lawyer at my disposal to do my bidding, or his.
Did you think it was poking him? I didn't write it with that intent. I just wanted him to know where I was coming from. That I wasn't doing it to be mean or hateful.
You're right. But I can't have him calling and bugging me constantly about this thing, when I already came to a decision. We had 5 people out today with stomach flu, and that left only 3 people for a full schedule of patients today. God I'm glad to be home.
I don't know if or what to expect in return, but I believe it is time to go completely dark again, even if that means blocking his emails. I need it for my own peace of mind.
Well, no such luck; he responded with anger and threats as anticipated. He said I was listening to my friends. That he wouldn't sign papers to sell the house, just insist the judge auction it off. That he would stop paying any of the bills. Just all kinds of crap. Said on one hand that he could handle both house payments, and on the other that he couldn't support two households.
"I can't support everybody, and you know what I mean." I do? Guess I'll wait and see what he does next. He also said " At least you have a house to go home to and I don't." That's my fault?
I'll call the mtg. company and the electric company tomorrow and notify them to notify me if he doesn't pay the bills. Then I'll have no choice than to seek maintenence. He'll pay me and I'll pay the bills. No difference.
Talked to the Prosecuting Attorney's office. Was told it was on the Deputy Prosecuting Attorney's desk awaiting his decision.
