21 years of marriage hanging by a thread

[Chuck66]

I don't believe DBing is about improving one's self. DB stands for Divorce Busting. So the goal should be to stay married. GAL is about improving one's self and is but one tool on the DB toolkit.

I am military so I measure success by obtaining a goal. If you improve yourself but can't bust the divorce, then in my book you were not successful. That doesn't mean you are not a better person, one who has learned through this process. And you may be a success in your next R and are happier in life, but you were not successful at busting a divorce and remaining married. It's an elusive goal because You have to GAL and maybe the other person will try to engage in the R. So even if you were the best DB'er in the world you could still be unsuccessful because your spouse made the decision not to succeed for you. Boy was that a rambling paragraph.

The couple that have been inviting me over to church the past two weeks came for a visit. My W and his W talked. I could see my W crying which is the first emotion from her in a long time. Friend's W wouldn't tell me what they discussed. Friend also said the risk is way higher than the gain for taking a young lady to the baseball game. Said why risk custody. Good point. I acquiesced and will not take her. They knew us the past 2 years and cannot believe the change in our R. Everyone thought we were the perfect couple. Yes I know there is no such thing as perfect anything.

I feel like I am doing fine too, I'm just starting to get impatient. I think I found this site within a week or 2 of the bomb. I went straight away to detach with a few hiccups. And now I have lots to do and not enough time to do it. So my GAL force is strong. And I need to stay away from Starbucks. It gets too expensive.