PS the pattern of emotional abuse has always been there. Got worse with time. I definitely have my part in it - and responding is my biggest mistake I suppose. Then he gets right into a fight and blames me. I've reacted out of (justifiable) anger and hurt, but said and did things I didn't mean, wasn't proud of. I've worked incredibly hard to be different. He has been worse. Until recently when I went dim. SUddenly, he's nice. But not coming back, and not really really seeing how much pain I am and have been in.
It's been a hundred times worse since he left and found OW. I did some horrible stuff too, but I"ve made serious changes. If he doesn't see that or value it, his loss!
