How To Tell The Kids

[Ready2Change]

If the cost of arguing over things is more than the value of the items, I just purchased new.

I have the new TV, she has the old one.
I have the Playstation3 she has the PS2.
I have the new kitchen-aid. she has the old.
I have dishes that I LIKE and picked out....
I have the new couch, that I PICKED OUT ALL BY MY SELF, She has the old one.

I take my laundry to the laundry mat...Lots of opportunities to meet ladies....

[bluestar]

I would suggest going through the house ahead of time and making a list of what you really want, what you would like and what you don't care about. That way you're more prepared for the sit down and you can propose a place to start.

Some rules I had were:
1) If it was a family item, then it went to the one who's family gave it. No reason you can't be the one to give your S or D the china after they get married. That way you ensure that it will stay in the family.
2) The kids stuff was split 50/50. Meaning if something needed to be purchased, then we each had to buy something. Like, take one bed and both buy another.
3) If I wanted to upgrade anyway, I let him keep the old one. But I didn't mention that I wanted to upgrade. That was my little secret.

By the way, I'm assuming that she is keeping a car. She doesn't just automatically get the value of her car in stuff. It should be the difference between the value of the cars to whomever benefits.

[DanF]

Thanks for the advice everyone. I am thinking things through and since W and I first broached the topic and I have had time to think I have more clarity. Usually takes me a little while to get my head around things. I think we will be able to get through this pretty easily. It really isn't worth arguing about. All THINGS can be replaced. By the way, we have 3 vehicles. Her van and my car are about the same value, so they are a wash. We also have a truck, which I use to pull my boat and get materials for home improvement projects. This is worth $10k and she is "awarding" it to me, so that leaves a pretty big value gap in terms of used furniture and appliances. She basically wants me to have everything in the garage and she wants everything in the house, with the exception of our master bedroom set and an old couch and loveseat in the basement. We'll figoure it out.

I went to the Stone Temple Pilots concert with a college friend of mine and his buddy last night. Cage the Elephant was one of the opening acts. I know 2 of their popular songs from the radio and they are kind of mellow rappy tunes. The rest were more like thrash metal. Very strange.

STP was awesome. Very small venue, so we were up-close and personal. They sounded great and played all their hits with a few others thrown in for good measure. This is the 3rd or 4th time I have seen them play. I didn't get home until about 1am, so I am a bit tired today.

My appraiser called yesterday and said that "the market is inconclusive" about the value of my house. Which I am told means that there aren't enough comparables around to get a good value. She wants to get together to talk about it, so I am trying to set-up a meeting.

This one is going to get complicated. I think W wants to stay in the house and maybe she can afford it, but I don't think she will be able to refinance to get my name off the mortgage. It that is the case, I won't be able to get a loan for another house. I won't accept that. Going to have to dig into all the details here to figure this one out.

Pk, gotta get back to work and get something done. Talk to you all later.

[Fightingforher]

Dan,

I’m really happy for you!!! I’m glad you’re finally able to get your own place. It makes a world of difference and you will finally start to feel normalcy again. I’ve been keeping busy around the house to keep my mind off things. The biggest transition is not having my son around but it gets easier as the days go by.

I hope all of your meetings with W go smoothly. Once we figured out all the details it was a huge load off my shoulders. You'll get there my friend and when you do go CELEBRATE!!!!