had two dates last week. First ones since the bomb 1.5 years ago. I REALLY REALLY liked this one guy and it was a great date. I left a vm the next day to say I had a great time - and follow up on some potential plans we had discussed for the following weekend. THEN SILENCE.
So now I have to db him too? Rats! Yep, NC. But ouch. I really felt ready and excited to be dating a nice guy.
Originally Posted By: pearlharbr
As for the new guy, yes, you do need to DB him too in a way. Don't get all clingy with any man! Try to approach dating as a casting director auditioning leading men. They have to impress you and be the right fit. You wouldn't just cast the first actor who read for you, right?
Hi Hope. I saw your thread because I like to follow Pearl's posts. She's so smart. Also, I was married to an emotionally abusive man so I thought I'd post to you.
I agree with Pearl about the new guy. No need to thank him again the next day. Just thank him at the end of the date. Let him call you about getting together again. It's fun to be pursued, rather than trying to make anything happen. Enjoy it!. I think men like to pursue so don't deprive them of that pleasure.
Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
Weird that H can notice without even realizing he notices.
He may or may not be telling you the truth when he says he didn't notice.
Originally Posted By: LanceSijan
You know you should be on the MLC board but refuse to post there. Everything that is going on with your H is perfectly normal(for MLC).
I strongly disagree with this. (Do you 'know' you should be posting there? I thought you said you weren't sure.) Emotional abuse is not caused by a mid-life crisis, even if your H is having one. How long has he been abusive? He's only 35 now.
No offense to the people in MLC because there are some wonderful people there, but Hope, I see your H responding better when you set strong limits. I hate seeing good people over in MLC tolerate so much crap behavior and hanging in there. I would like to see you get support in being more firm.
Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I am waiting 24/48 hrs before I say anything if I do at all but right now I feel like giving him a piece of my mind in the name of standing up for myself
I'm glad you are taking time to think it through. Remember this astute observation of yours:
Originally Posted By: Hope4Luv
I've gone very dark and he is starting to get it that he can't treat me abusively anymore. I have acted on my personal boundary of protecting myself and he's getting the message louder than any words I have said over the past year.
