Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

Over this past weekend NY's governor signed no-fault divorce into law, not sure how long it will be until people can start filing on those grounds. The article title was "Kinder, Gentler Way to Split Up". There is nothing kind or gentle about divorce.

Am feeling somewhat numb again, which is a welcome feeling. Unfortunately it's not numb enough to not be hurting and wanting to cry. I know that H will be first in line to file for divorce once the date is announced when people can start filing on the no-fault grounds. So now I'm torn in that I don't want divorce, but I don't want him to get off without shouldering the blame for it. And if I do file, it will be on the grounds of adultery, none of this getting off easy with abandonment crap. But right now I'm just hurting so much and not wanting it too much to do anything. Which will hold more weight? Me relenting and filing, accusing him of adultery, or me refusing to sign off on it when he files no-fault?