Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

H just left from picking up his DVD player. He got a letter today from the daycare stating that he owes over $500 for the summer. He said he thought that what he had been paying me was covering daycare. I explained that it was covering daycare from last school year that he fell behind on and I did tell him that the account was going to be split. I told him that tomorrow I will re-send him the spreadsheet detailing what he owes me and why.

DS went upstairs to get a drink so H asked if I still had my heels dug in and was refusing to sign off on the divorce. I responded that yes, I was still refusing to sign anything. He then asked if I honestly thought that there was any chance he and I could work things out and I told him that I didn't want to talk about it, he said no, he was not going to give me that option. Then DS came down so I kissed him and H said, "You're going to ignore me" and I replied "Yes." So he muttered, "You think that's going to help anything?" then when he left loudly asked DS what he thought of the name Lucas. I know he did that on purpose, knowing it was going to hurt me.

I came upstairs and cried a few tears. But I'm so numb that while I feel like the tears want to flow, they just aren't.