Laura - I'm sorry! FIGHT! BE STRONG. This can begin a new time of freedom for you for finding the love you deserve!
I still don't know which forum I belong in - infidelity or MLC. For now, here's the latest interesting development TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS!
BTW the date was fabulous but the guy never called back. Very very sad. I was ready to have someone new.
Anyhow, since I"ve pulled way back you all know my H has been kind, non reactive, dare I say pleasant, apologizing, etc.
WE had a hard "family dinner" on Sat. I was tired and emotional and mad and of course the whole thing went downhill. Still feeling like it all begins and ends with me, still struggling with feeling totally responsible for if we get along or not.
The good news is we turned it around and I ended up crying and he comforted and hugged me a little. He claimed he was sorry because he has been "trying to get along better". I finally out and asked him why he has been nicer recently and he said "he decided" that we should get along better because "he realized" he had been expressing anger all the time at my behavior etc.
So he thought he came up with this great idea all on his own even though I'be been asking him to behave nicer for a year?
So I out and told him that his "new behavior" came at the same time I stopped talking to him or being around him. HE HAD NO IDEA AND HADN'T NOTICED!!! He "thought I was just busy."
Can they be this blind? Could I have made this much of an impression on him without him even being conscious of it? Weird!
I still struggle with his niceness. It's so seductive to believe him that he "came to this on his own" and I should just "get along" with him. The other part of me still fantasizes about my plan to go total NC and slam him with full custody and a fight.
And feeling sad and disappointed that the new man who seemed so interested in dating me disappeared. I was looking forward to moving on and getting a new life.
