One thing that was a huge 180 for me was how I reacted to my wife's worrying. I used to try and fix it, explain to her why she shouldn't feel that way and then tell her what I would do. (Women do you understand why men have this desire to fix things for you?) So the solution now is to really listen to her, try to understand her POV and then ask a probing open-ended question: "How can I help/support you with that?" It was eye-opening to me to find out alot of times that I wasn't expected to do anything except listen.
I think that this applies to both sides, because this is something my exbf used to do and it annoyed me no end, I didn't want his solutions, I just wanted him to listen, understand the weight of my problem and comfort me. Now I realize that I sometimes do that to my H myself.
Accept that there is only one thing you can change in life and that is you
