I think you should just show up when he visits the baby. Don't say anything, just be there... It will make it that much more uncomfortable for him.
This appears to be the problem Piano... When your H has to do anythign emotionally uncomfortable that requires strength that only adults have developed he runs like a deer...
Children are taught to share Children are taught to tell the truth Children are taught to finish their work Children are taught to apologize
etc
These are things people by instinct don't WANT to do when they are young and are pressed to do through good parenting.
For some reason your H when faced with the uncomfortable he wants to run away instead.
He needs some serious therapy...
You can write whatever you like, but I honestly think him having to look you in the eye is the toughest challenge for him... Particularly since he asked you not be there.
I am not at all surprised that he isn't offering financials, or that he's professing he will when he gets a job... Most runaway spouses do this... Promise you mountains and end up giving you sand.
Not being negative, there is another poster here (havne't heard from her in months) whos husband took off miles away and left her with three kids to support. He promised he was giong to run a new business venture and they would all be living on easy street...
For starters, he took his business partner (read affair partner) with him. He got an apartment for them, took her to dinners, shows, bought her clothes, and throws his abandoned spouse with three kids pennies. She has'nt gotten to a lawyer yet, which is what i had reccomended.
He visits periodically, subjects his wife to yelling, belittling in public and other abuse and then heads back south to his affair partner/business partner.
This isn't uncommon. Many spouses promise you a lot early on and when the money comes in later they find convenient excuses to short change you.
I seriously doubt you will see much money come in from him... I am not trying to bring you down, but you need to be prepared. You can't rely on him for funding. He's gonig to drop this whole thing on your shoulders and hide in another country for a few years until the reality of his affair gets too heavy for him and he will lilkey come back to you at that time. Assuming you don't put further pressure on him to return sooner.
I would be interested to hear what your F had to say to him.
If you were my daughter your H wouldn't be leaving the country alive.
