Still trying to find my way

[Mystik]

Had to talk to H this morning. From overhearing DS's side of their conversation on Saturday and talking to H this morning it would seem that he spent the weekend moving Whore's brat into DS's bedroom at his place. So much for it being important to H that DS have his own space at his place.

Anyway, H called this morning wanting his BluRay DVD player back. I kept my side of the conversation as short as possible, gave answers in as few words as I could.

So yes, I did say that reality is slowly setting in. But my heart is still holding out for H to wake up. I'm thinking once it is born in November reality is going to start hitting H hard. In the meantime I'll just keep on praying for strength and patience.

When H first left in November of '08 it took me over a year and a half to even start letting go and moving on. Then he drew me back in with planning to return. Then he left again, not physically but emotionally, and it's only been three and a half months since that time, as well as it having a much worse level of betrayal involved. So it is understandable that I'm not over it yet. But it seems like this is the only place people get that. In real life and on the other board I'm on they all expect me to be angry or to just get over it. And I can't.