John, have you done something in the past that may have digusted her sexually towards you? Such as, taken her when she was not completely responsive, manipulated her sexually or made her do things that she may have felt you were acting out a perverse fantasy rather than loving her, or possibly been caught or known to take care of yourself?
Discuss more about this gay friend of hers, is he a confidant of hers? someone she is relating to instead of you. are they very close, or just someone she knows and you know. would she act around him like she is doing with you with no concern?
not to belittle you in the least, sir, but more so to help you understand your reality, it reads to me that rather then "just slowly becoming more comfortable with each other again" she is treating you like a gay boyfriend, in that, she can act as open as she wants, panty shows, waxing, flirty, knowing that you will not be sexual with her.
you seem nonchalant about her male friends, which I guess could be argued either way, but in the past with her supposed mental affairs did you brush it off as "it is what it is" or did you make it known that this behavior is not OK with me?
does she have (a lot of) female friends she hangs out with and shops with and confides in?
