So, plans have changed again. I texted WH and said if he wants to see his child alone before he goes, he can. That way we don't risk to fall into a painful situation. So he said he would love to see her alone Wednesday.
I think it is the right thing to do. It's another stab in the heart for me, though.
I know I should be handling this better, but I'm just not. I can't do it. It's too painful.
I know you all say that things will be easier when he's gone, but I see that as so final, so brutal, another 'death' which I don't want to relive. I've had too much. Just too much pain.
Sorry - I know I need to pick myself up off the floor, tell myself I CAN HANDLE IT, that I am better of without him. But I am so sad, I miss him so much, I hate the present reality and my life. "Home" for me was with him. I know it's sad and pathetic and not healthy, but it was fine until he left. Now I am exposed, alone. How did my best friend in the world do this to me???
