Not sure where to start, or end. WAW?

[john28]

Oh fun fun what an evening this has been. Wish I could have posted this earlier.

After wife went into shower she came out stark naked and put some clothes on in front of me - I was in bed reading. Again - controlled myself. She then started to get the wax to do her legs and stuff and asked if I could go get her some more. I told her I'd be happy to and ran out to get it with a few other things.

Then, after we ate dinner we let S4 watch a movie and we were playing cards. I was tired halfway through and suggested we take a break. She asked if would help her wax her bikini line. Oh, My, God. I thought to myself. Ok, I can do this.

Well, as we're walking in the house to go wax she asked where should we do it (since S4 is in living room) and I suggested our room. She said OK, but on the way there she said, "Just so you know we're not having sex." I said, "Ok... alright...I wasn't even trying to have sex with you, but thanks for rejecting me."

Well, I waxes her. God I could barely keep it together. Finished, then I was cleaning up the kitchen when I realized something. I was pretty pissed off. I was mad as all hell that she REJECTED me even when I wasn't trying to pursue her for sex. That really tweaked a nerve in me because I've come to see in the past few months that she would routinely reject me for sex, and I would be sad/upset/whatever. I vowed not to be that little boy againn who cried of lack of sex. I would now be a man about this. If I wanted sex, I was going to have it if she was willing. If not, I'd be just fine.

Well, I got to thinking more and more about it, and I got pretty heated in my head. I then put on my shoes and walked up to her and said,

M: "I am leaving. I will be back later."
w: "Huh, why?"
M: "Because I'm about to say or do something really stupid. I'm really pissed off right now."
W: "Why?"
M: "Because I wasn't even trying to have sex with you. I was flirty with you all day, but I wasn't trying to have sex with you. I've shut that part of me down for now in the attempt to save our marriage. I'm not like you. No one has touched me for 3 months. I just can't f*cking be around you right now."
w: "Well take your time. Go have a beer somewhere. You should really take your time."
M: "What's that supposed to mean?"
w: "You're pretty scary right now. You should stay gone for a while."
M: "I won't be told what to do."


And I left.
Went and banged some balls around the driving range. Probably should have banged my own to get this hate out of my head.

She was scared because I never stand up for myself like this. I never storm out on her... never. I'm always the one trying to apologize, make stuff right, things like that. But this time I just had enough and left.

Came home, she asked if I was ok. I told her that I was angry at her because in the past I had allowed myself to be controlled by her sexually, and when I didn't seem fulfilled, I acted like a little boy about it. I told her that I'm not that stupid little boy anymore, and when she rejected me, it reminded me of him and the control she had over me - and that I wouldn't be made to feel like that again. I told her I have a right to flirt with her and not pursue sex. That was what I was doing, and she attempted to belittle me.

She said she agreed, and wouldn't do that again.