. ..are you getting trapped back into modifying what you want to do based on how you perceive it will affect your W?
No. I don't think so. I just don't like having these friendly chats and then realizing later that she is still sleeping with another M and blowing up my D's family. I don't start any of them. She just comes out of the blue about something about her day or whatever. I suppose my biggest reasons for cutting it off are: -makes me think about her -takes me off MY life -she needs to completely understand that I will not be available in her life when we are divorced. If it has nothing to do with D2, I'm not interested in her personal life. I have my own. And you don't want to be part of it, remember? -so she should start to learn now -I am a package deal.
So how do I say that? "I've been thinking about these occasional conversations and I've decided that since you have chosen to disrespect me to this extent and you want me out of your life so badly, that I am not interested in/will not respond to any texts that don't have to do with either D or our Separation Agreement."
Originally Posted By: Steady
Show me a LBS here who doesn't think the WAS is sooo happy and just having the time of their life? They're lives are going to be golden while ours will suck until eternity...lol. Join the 'I'm an idiot because I think like that club'.
I'm paid in full. Won't happen again. It's just when she posts "Yay, camping" or some such nonsense on her BB Msngr. ANd we use that to communicate about D and/or legal/banking. She doesn't have accees to Yahoo at work. But, in the back of my mind she knows that I see it so ..... But it still eats at me.
Originally Posted By: Steady
Do you want to be her friend CD? I'm talking about now, not in some imagined future. Is she being rude to you? Filter out those couple 'warm friendly' communications and what are you left with? A giant pile of what?
...if you do it because you have drawn a BOUNDARY that says you will not allow people to treat you the way she is treating you, then what's wrong with that?
You are right. It hurts me to admit it but I want to still be open to her. However, the ultimate thing I need to remind myself of is- -she dropped the bomb -she started the affair before the bomb -she bailed on the family -she ran away from her vows and commitments -she wants the Divorce.
My position regarding Divorce and the affair is MORE than clear.
So, just need the script prepared for the next "personal, friendly text"
Suggestions? I really don't like the Allen extreme of a third party. I have arranged the changeover of D2 so as not to have to meet W.
