I think he filed because he thinks there is no hope left.
apparently this is how all men handle it when they feel there is no hope left. mine did the same.
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You mentioned on your thread D4L about how to get your H to put on his "big boy pants". That is THE THING! You need something else at this point too--do you have enough wisdom and knowledge about what went wrong that you can help him grow?
i think i've been trying to show him that all along. for as long as i've known him, i've had his back. i've never betrayed him and i taught him new things. i tried to show that we can do this together if we work together.
however, i am guilty of neglecting my h because i was too focused on doing what *i* thought was right for our marriage. i ended up neglecting my h's needs in the process. he tried to give me signs but i ignored them.
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I have had both in mine and 2 counselors told me my H doesn't even see me as human.
oh my. how did they come to that conclusion?
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I am trying very hard not to let my "light" die, but it is extremely difficult. Last time this happened I did EVERYTHING he wanted, and eventually he treated me pretty good.
it will be a lot more difficult this time because now he can say that the changes weren't permanent. you went back to your old ways. how do i know it won't happen again?
how motivated are you this time?
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And I do know what went wrong, I think, it's just that I see another life and it looks good--I am trying to show him that other way, but..
how are you trying to show him? does this "other life" involve him? does he know that this other life that looks good .. involve him?
i have a tendency to assume my h knows what i'm talking about but really .. you can't assume.
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So I am using this to talk to him about things we haven't spoken of in a long time. It's nice actually. There is a different "vibe" to our talks--very detached and I get a very different take from him right now.
It's a strange journey. I don't dislike it. It's all "interesting" to me right now. He is interesting. I am trying to know him even more than before.
i think you're on the right path. you're figuring out a lot of things and playing the game intelligently. i can't wait to hear what you find out. i may need to learn a few things from your sitch.
