New Game- Exposed

[steady]

Three issues here.
1) detaching from her 'meesages'
-Do I text her something next time I get a non-D or non-Separation msg? Or simply not respond to what I'll call "personal" communication? NOT responding seems rude and 'cold' which is more of the same from the M

You know I used to think like this - treat people the way I want to treat them regardless of their actions toward me. That usually meant treating them with kindness regardless of their behavior toward me.

Then one day Whiskey Tango posted on my thread - treat people the way they DESERVE to be treated. Hmmm...that was a new one for me. Wow! I can draw boundaries.

Do you need to be a di#k toward her? No.

Do you want to be her friend CD? I'm talking about now, not in some imagined future. Is she being rude to you? Filter out those couple 'warm friendly' communications and what are you left with? A giant pile of what?

Not texting her back about personal stuff is not rude and cold unless that's why you're doing it. If you're doing it to somehow 'get back at her' for what's she's done to you then you're wasting your breathe.

Now if you do it because you have drawn a BOUNDARY that says you will not allow people to treat you the way she is treating you, then what's wrong with that?

2)detach from her actions
-though I don't have to see what she is doing, my mind is using presumptions and filling in the picture for me. Not sure how to stop this (I am 'seeing' things going OK for her; she is happy/content/non-caring about what she is doing)

Show me a LBS here who doesn't think the WAS is sooo happy and just having the time of their life? They're lives are going to be golden while ours will suck until eternity...lol. Join the 'I'm an idiot because I think like that club'. I had a bit of that today. (Well, more than a bit of it)

Then I remembered - how do you know. They see us and we are often 'faking' it. Do you think maybe they are also? Then I realized once again even deeper - what does it matter? That's her life, not mine. How is MINE going? Much better place to stare.

And another thing - are you getting trapped back into modifying what you want to do based on how you perceive it will affect your W? You know, that little metal thing with teeth we step in and it slams shut around our ankle - I think they call it the Nice Guy trap.