You can't have everything, where would you put it?

[ClingingToHope]

Much slower day today. Made it to church. A friend -- a good looking blond who is engaged again at 43 -- showed up and we sat together.

The message was all about forgiveness. The pastor even brought in a counselor from Chicago to talk about what happens when people don't forgive.

Now I know I need to forgive STBXW, but I haven't been able and I've been disappointed in myself.

The counselor said people shouldn't get frustrated, that real forgiveness takes time, perhaps even years. And as long as you realize you need to forgive someone then eventually you will. Some day your brain will catch up to your will.

That resonated with me.

The other thing he said is there really is no such thing as forgive and forget. People have remembering brains. Trying to forget something is like to trying to suppress it, deny it ever happened, and that doesn't work.

That resonated as well. I have to forgive STBXW, but I won't forget that she chose to end our marriage without ever trying to save it.

After church I decided to walk into work. It took about an hour and my feet were killing me. I put in a couple hours of work and then walked back -- and my feet are hurting again.

It's hell getting old.

Interestingly, on the bike path, I ran into the TV reporter who had the 30-year birthday party last night. She was walking with her mom, her sister (a babe) and the sister's boyfriend (sigh).

We chatted for a minute and I kept walking. It was a beautiful day.

I should be cleaning, but I'm laying down on the couch. Another friend called and wants to sub in a softball game. I'm reeealllllyyyy tired but I need a couple of at bats.

A good day so far. I'm guessing I'll get a couple of texts or emails from STBXW tonight now that she's back from her S.D. trip. I'm also guessing now that the trip is over we'll see more action on the D.

My friend at church asked about it and I just said "it's not done yet."

That was good.