Don't rely on him at ALL... to his mind he's doing YOU a favour so you accepting the favour means you support his choices...

People that are in dispute don't do favours for one another

Any walls that come down the OW will just put back up again

You are too vulnerable living there...

Stop trying to analyse him.. he's an addict and the fact that he won't admit his affair is a good sign... It means there's "shame" there and guilt

Just stay away from him and don't try to get him to admit anything