It's basically getting across that THEIR thoughts and feelings...how THEY look at it matters to you.
It's never...I'm sorry you feel that way. That is actually negating them. This is not exactly what fmv said...the way she said it is more supportive, but could be misheard by your H depending on how your relationship is going.
It doesn't have to be...."I understand"....
It's, like fmv said: "Tell me more....." "ok, and......"
Really listening
<I'm also a terrible optimist, which sometimes drives my H nuts.>
I have this problem too, and it has lead to my guy not believing what I say when I am encouraging sometimes. So just listening is really worth a try. See if the tries to 'get you' to encourage him. Hold it back. And when you do encourage him, be really specific, make sure it can ring true with him.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
