This is a process... the FIRST thing you need to do is get OUT of there..

You are too vulnerable... he's "helping" but at the same time

a. He's subjecting you directly to the abuse of the affair
b. He's softening HIS GUILT by you accepting his assistance

When you move elsewhere :

a. You will have more strength and confidence because you are no longer the direct subject of abuse
b. His guilt will increase 100x because you aren't there to soften it with words or by allowing him to perform services to buy off his guilt