No need to thank us, honey, that's why we are all here.
You seem to keep beating yourself up for feeling sad about all this. Stop that.
What has happened is a life altering, punch in the heart and stomach thing that you didnt see coming. Your world has been turned upside down and inside out. If you didnt feel sad, I'd be worried about you.
Having said that, I just want you to try to get to where u need to be as soon as you can because I dont want you to hurt. It took me months and months to finally get it and I dont want that for you.
I always say that I wish I could magically get everyone past this part. But you have to go through all of it to get to peace.
Just so you know, my h told me the other day, three years post bomb, that he is still not happy. He could have fooled me. He seems real happy. My point being, it doesnt help or serve you to try to figure out what he is feeling or thinking because it is probably not what you think.
So, you went to the car and had a good cry. Now that's done for today, right?
I promise you it will get better, easier. It will. And in the beginning, it's necessary to try and fill up your days and nights. Just keep busy, read (not self help or MLC books all the time) or do whatever it takes to get your mind off of this.
IB, you can do this. I know it seems impossible right now to think you will ever be ok, but, you will be.
And for the record, I still get sad sometimes. I let it wash over me and then continue moving forward because I have no other choice.
This is an extraordinary journey if you take it. I mean, really take it.
Ask yourself, what purpose does it serve to allow what h is doing to control my feelings? What purpose does it serve to allow it to ruin my day? It's not going to change what is. It's not going to hurry it along. It's just going to ruin your day.
So, my friend, just for today, even just for an hour, do something just for you. Just for you. Put everything out of your mind and just embrace it.
