I've never really given her a heartfelt apology for the years of neglect that led us to where we are today. That I had a sense of how hurt she was. I can't feel what she felt, as I've only been going through this for 2 months, where she put up with my neglect for 7 years. The effect of my apology was really amazing. I know all the walls she puts up, all the facades. This was no act, she was totally open and honest with accepting it.
I'm not afraid anymore. Anger is something we all are feeling, I just can't let it make me do things that I don't believe in. Anger and fear have crippled me for years, and I'm letting go of both. When I feel them, I try to channel them away. If she still decides to move out, not much will change in what I do. I will give her my full attention when she wants it, I will be open and honest with her when she asks, but I won't be expecting anything in return. Expectations do not equal wishes...
