Now, that's forward progress PH. She came to you and said she wants to work on this, but can't promise anything. That's good.
Now, you need to remain "as if" you don't know what you want. If she sees you pounce on this opportunity to work on things, you're again just pursuing and needy.
And you need to find a PRO MARRIAGE counselor. I know you had a church person or something, but you need to research this. I would suggest http://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/ call and interview them. Ask them if they are solution based. Stuff that MWD recommends.
Not sure it is progress, but despite the appearance of my trying a 'flavor of the day' approach, this is the only thing that has worked. Perhaps it's the combination of me telling her the night before how I felt, the two months she's had to see the changes in me, as well as the "time to move onto the couch and then out of the house" speech that brought such a change.
My real indicator will be if she follows through with MC, and if she brings up stuff about moving out. Sadly, I'm expecting both things to happen; if so, I've accepted that in advance.
