Ahh, thanks Addie! We had such an amazing, emotional, special, fun, sunny, wonderful day.. people are still talking about it and saying it was the best wedding they've ever been to! Funny thing is, pre-bomb we were going to elope to Greece or Sweden...post bomb and R there is no way we'd have done that! It was very important to have all those friends and family there that had been rooting for us to get back together and show THEM a good time and our thanks and gratitude.
So the only fly in the ointment is that at 39 1/2, I am still not pregnant and trying not to panic that time is running out. H says we will explore all the options, but he is happy to just be with me for life, kids or no kids.
I am reading the Love Languages book properly for the first time. He agreed to do the quiz later. x
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Hope things go well for you with the baby thing as well. In my previous life (long time ago / prior to XW and DB), we (XXW and I) went through the whole in vitro thing at a well known clinic here. It was also unexplained infertility with us. One word of caution, do not underestimate the emotionla ups and downs associated with this treatment. I thought our couple was immune to it and sadly, we were not. Stay positive because there are a bunch of folks that i know that were successful with either getting pregnant or adopting and staying together. All the best Ali.
I've never posted to you before, but for some reason I clicked on your thread today to see how things were going for you, and maybe that's not an accident.
Stress has a HUGE impact on fertility and your hormones as does your subconscious thoughts. You can think through things logically, but if your subconscious thinks differently, it doesn't matter. It takes things very literally.
I know you're doing IUI, but I think this would apply as well. For in vitro, the success rate is about 20%. If you add in acupuncture and hypnosis, it's about 80%.
I, too, have been diagnosed with unexplained infertility, but I'm working with an acupuncturist who specializes in female reproduction (and taking herbs he prescribes) and have done several sessions with a hypnotherapist. I've been able to dump some really big events and beliefs that have had an impact on my fertility, not the least among them that my mother told me once she thought I shouldn't have kids. When I asked her why in disbelief, she stuttered and said something about how my H and I like to travel. That's just one thing the crazy woman has said to me in my life (some mothers eat their young!), and now that I've worked with it in hypnotherapy, there's no emotional charge to that memory any more.
We've also worked with the fear that my H's EA and the bomb put into me. Your body will always put your well-being first, so if it's stuck in the belief that you can't trust your partner, etc., even subconsciously, it might be working against you.
A few foods my acupuncturist told me to stay away from are coffee (even decaffeinated; it tends to cause adhesions), cow dairy (clogs up your system), alcohol, and peanuts. My BBT looks great since I've done this, and (TMI) I no longer have cramps. I've also gotten rid of other physical issues like headaches, acne, stomach stuff, and even joint pain.
Finally, both acupuncture and hypnosis will work on your stress and anxiety levels. Going through infertility brings a lot of stress with it, so finding a way to let it go is essential.
Congratulations on your wedding, and good luck getting preggo. There are plenty of women our age who get pregnant, so have hope!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
I hope everything is going ok with the hospital stuff. My sister is going through that at the moment and I can see how stressful and emotional it can be.
How are you finding married life? Has it changed anything?
Hey John210 and SD - Thanks for your support and tales of caution... SD, yes I gave up tea and alchohol in January! (apart from the odd one ) and I have goats milk (I guess thats ok?). I think I will restart acupuncture too.
We are aware this stuff can split couples up, but we are solid, loving and supportive of one another and DH said again this morning this isnt going to come between us, baby or no baby. Its hard though - like injecting myself last night!! But we are in it together and we got through it together.
Julia - I went through a funny phase after getting married.. not a come down from the wedding, more a kind of upswell of anger and resentment that he dated Helen. The leaving me bit was understandable, as he knows now that he had a breakdown. But I still feel jealous that he had an R with someone else in the middle of our 11 year R! I still get insecure occassionally (although there really is no need and its ridiculous!) and I still dread the thought of bumping into her. He now has little to do with her at work, thank god, as he is on different projects. We are both glad about that!
Anyway, I didnt post for a while as I talked myself through and out of it.. I am out of that now and back to feeling loved up and frankly grateful that I got to resume my R with him, for life. I'd say to anyone feeling down, insecure, angry, resentful, mistrustful etc after reconciling.. if your partner is back, willing and being his old loving self..do your best to just accept that graciously, on face value and thank the Universe for returning them to you and just.. be happy. We only get one life, dont waste it looking over your shoulder. This is the advice I gave myself anyway!
I think thats because of how devastated and shocked I felt when he left and.. because I once knew a guy...he woke his GF up with a cup of tea one Monday morning, but she was cross at him about something and grumpily ignored it. He went to work, but was killed instantly by a lorry. She was devastated, of course. Stuff like that makes you realise, be glad for what you have, appreciate the good stuff, be happy and half glass full and dont take it for granted - you never know what is around the corner.
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
This morning, H left for a short trip and I was mad at him, not mad, bitter I guess, and when we said goodbye, I didnt want to kiss him or anything, then I had this thought that this could be the last time we saw each other amd kissed him...
Be patient,things will happen and you may even get twins!! (LOLOL)...
Well for all of us here, you and me included! And those that post on your thread, which has become a bit of a gathering ground at times for those that are struggling with Piecing, as you have. I'm glad you changed your mind and kissed him afterall!! Think of that poor gf that never did..
True Michelle! I asked him last night, do you think we should have got M years ago? He said yes, because we really loved each other. I reminded him he asked me in 2001 and I said no because I had depression at the time. When I was better a few months later, I said, ok, Yes! but he said..the offer has lapsed! We used to joke about it at parties... but I told him last night, really it hurt me deeply. I asked why he withdrew his offer and he said my 'no' hurt him and he felt rejected, he didnt think it was because I was ill at the time!
Its wonderful being married and we really do have a new R now, thats very different to our old R. For example, we try harder now to talk and actually listen which maybe we didnt before.
I'm kinda hopeful about the IUI.. we are due to be treated next Wed/Thu.. when Jupiter is exact conjunct Uranus in Pisces! This is for us, lady luck, pointing the finger of fate at us (buy a lottery ticket M!)
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Funny you said this about luck. This last week I have been dreaming of winning the lottery. I bought one even the weekend we were away with H, together with my GF, we both had planned our plastic surgeries- LOL.
When is it that lady luck points at us? Wed-Thu? K
) and I have goats milk (I guess thats ok?). I think I will restart acupuncture too. 
But we are in it together and we got through it together.