It means no matter what YOU do, WAS is DONE.Mentally out means the WAS has already moved on emotionally. The WAS is over the pain of a break up.We are the ones clinging to hope that isn't there. Sorry to be so blunt, but it is the truth. The realization is brutal, painful and horrible. But it's the truth. And at some point the LBS's need to accept it and move on.
If the WAS wishes to return to M, and make a new M, it can happen. But I don't believe most do.Once "rid" of the "problem", which is US, they move on to whatever it is they think will make them happy. In my H's case, he thinks finding a new woman to meet his sx needs ( I didn't, but he didn't meet mine either!) and all his other needs, will be the end all, do all. Being left behind makes me feel like trash to be discarded. So better for me to say to WAS, if you want out, okay, I agree, let's DO IT!!!
We can DB our butts off, but it has to be for US. In my sitch, my H is an engineer, very logical. Nothing I did convinced him to stay in M and try to make a new one.H didn't believe making a NEW M would work. H said we'd have already 'fixed" the problems before, that after all we had 14 years to fix the issues!!! My H has it in his head that while I am "sincere" in my changes ( he noticed), and future changes, he doesn't believe the changes would last.My H is emotionally closed.We cannot twist ourselves into a pretzel hoping the WAS finds some redeeming quality about us and will come back to the M.
It takes every ounce of courage we have to let go. But we really have no choice but to do that, my friend.
Sad, and painful like nothing else I have experienced. I feel like a knife is in my heart and maybe I always will..
Your W sounds like she doesn't know what she wants. Make it about what YOU want. Set some boundaries!!!
