Sorry this is long and I don’t post to everyone as much as I should I’ve just been in a slump the past 2 weeks and school and work have been super busy for me.
I guess I need some thoughts or input here especially from Sandi, puppy, Gucci, and the others . I'm doing my best to detach and move on as much as I want to hope and work on the M. Any way I went over and surprised my S it was great to see him & give him a hug. We talked and kind of planed our little vacation to VA. Beach or the Outer banks and maybe a Nationals game, and other fun things to do together; It was just great to see him!!
Before I left the W and I talked about when I was going to take him and other stuff. Then we got in the whole can you get back to me on when S was flying in and have him call me when he landed and other stuff. She thought I was attacking her and was upset with my tx. W thought I was being controlling and telling her what to do. All I said was please get back to me when it’s About OUR S!!
I said I haven’t seen him in almost a month & she tried to say I had about the same time with S as W did even when S went to visit his biological 1/2 and 1/2 brother & as well. I said no its different I get him once or twice a week and try and stop by the house and see him as much as I can u have him here. I stood my ground and I think she was surprised as I wouldn’t even let her interrupt me which I surprised myself..
In the end I said hey we have to do a better job about our S cause we have a long way to go with him, W said we have to remove ourselves from all this , but it’s just hard, I told her that I know , but its about him and we both have to do better job. As far as calling or texting about S & if we have questions ask…
This is the part I need help with I’m not sure if it was right, but I did it anyway and it felt good… So I said I don’t want to get into this but I have to say it ; I told her I’m doing my best to move on and W got teary-eyed and said that was good.
Next I said hey look at me W did and I said hey as much as I hurt I said I forgive you for what you have done & I said I also have forgiven myself for what I have done. I told her I hope you can do the same for yourself someday.
The last thing I said was if you do end up with OM!! I have no clue what is going to happen with us. I told her I don’t know where we will stand as far as our friendship. W said I know I told her I could only ask for the truth from you. (I think she is torn about that)!!
What are your thoughts guys? I’m trying to detach and it’s hard and this month is extremely hard as our Anniversary is in 2 Weeks I don’t want to quit and I have hope but it getting less and less.
I also have to try and move on even if I don’t want too. So telling her that I do forgive her seemed to help!! Not saying the pain is gone and won’t forget what has happened but I feel better.
Up until tonight it seemed that W had no emotions, but tonight I could also tell she hurts too.
