Still trying to find my way

[courageous wife]

Learning to detach is the best thing that you can do for yourself right now! Along with taking care of you and your S. Your H took himself out of the picture, for now, so you do not need to worry about him. Protect yourself and your S.

All of this is easier said than done...but, the more he sees you upset and crying, the more he will want to get away from you...

You can do this Mystik!!!!

[Mystik]

Detaching is most definitely easier said than done.

[newmama]

You don't have to be cheerful...just try your best not to cry or yell. It is very hard for sure to detach. I think the reality isn't there yet for you so that may be making it more difficult.

[Mystik]

The reality is slowly creeping in, but my heart is still holding out for him to wake up and return. Yelling is not a problem, I rarely tend to raise my voice to H. But the crying... That's a whole other issue.

[Mystik]

I should clarify that I'm not always crying every time I see him. But when he pushes interactions onto me or talks about the situation that does bring me to tears.

[TimeHeals]

I need to work on projecting a cheerful persona

I'd much rather you were really happy instead. You can do that with or without him and even when he doesn't want you to be happy.

Now..., it's easier said than done....

How is your GAL going? Started a fitness/nutritution routine yet? Every day you put into this the better. Start doing things that will benefit you in the future.

[Mystik]

GAL and fitness/nutrition not going so well yet. Did go to the birthday party today for my cousin's two youngest, ate too much junk food and passed on the burgers and hot dogs when they had them. Definitely not my smartest move. Now it's almost bed time and I'm feeling a bit hungry again. I'll have to scrounge up something for myself.

[pinhead]

If I can point to anything good coming out of my sitch is my improved eating habits. My first career was fast food, sixteen years of 1/4lb'ers and fries. Started my own restaurant, more crap in my body. Until June.

I eat like a religious zealot. Mostly fruits, veggies, protein. Haven't had a french fry in 2 months; no pop in 4. I've started to learn how to cook really well, and feed my Ds food that I'm happy to serve them.

Mystik, I sat down at work the other day and just daydreamed about what I wanted to do when my W left. I came up with a list of 30 things that I had "put off" over the last 13 years, and stuff I figured I'd never do. Brainstorming stuff that really made me realize that GAL was going to be easy, now that I wasn't trying to impress my W.

Try it when you can. Entertain your inner child for an hour, daydream about the woman you had hoped to become when you were much much younger.

[Mystik]

I think I was born in the wrong century. When I was I little girl I wanted to be a wife and mother when I grew up. Seriously, I wanted to be like my mom and stay home taking care of my kids and husband.

I'll have to try brainstorming for ideas of things to do. There has to be something out there.

[MarkIII]

Re Mystik, do women really like and want to be stay at home moms? I thought that for so long then my wife moved out and said she was not happy being a stay at home mom and I was not allowing her to live her life... Now she is living with her dad no vehicle and just got a small job.. How is that happy??