I should add that WH hung around waiting for the baby to be born because he wanted to meet her, be here (in his own disconnected way) and to be there to name her, like his dad did for him.
I was hoping in that time, with OW being o/seas and all, that he would 'wake up' and have a revelation.
In fact, it's only recently become clear to me, by piecing together comments and bits n pieces here and there, that he never intended to look back and reconcile once he decided to go. And that in fact he used the whole time post bomb and pre-birth, to start setting up his own life which would include OW.
Not counseling. Not reconsidering. Not helping me when I was pregnant. Nothing, except moving on towards a life without me.
Moving o/seas makes it so much easier for him to detach further & leave all the responsibility to me.
This is very out of character, all of this. I did not marry a bad man, but I married someone who was not grounded and who had a terrible family template which he is re-enacting and passing on to our daughter.
Anyway, him hanging around while I was pregnant, and a few months after birth has been a huge torment to me. I didn't fully understand it, what was motivating him. I thought, he can't be THAT heartless and selfish, can he? I wanted him to wake up. I am also resentful of the friends that put him up in their spare room for 7 months so WH could watch me have his baby from the sidelines without lifting a finger. These were my great friends. They thought they were doing our baby a favour by keeping him here to meet and bond with her. But it did me a lot of damage. Is my thinking wrong, here??
