Allen, you told me so.

[Piano]

Long time no speak Allen,

WH leaves me and our newborn in a few days to live with OW on the other side of the world.

I knew he left because fatherhood triggered a crisis in him (repetition of family history) but the A made it really hard to decipher what was what and of course, WH hasn't wanted to 'process' any of it with me.

I went dark for a month and half when I was 6 months pregnant, but then because of my own lack of courage, legal reasons (he has automatic 50-50 custody - 'no fault' country) and social pressure ('let him be a father even if it's not the sort of father you imagined') I started contact with him again ...and things never improved, in fact they deteriorated because it was all too much for me and I became overly emotional.

This did two things: proved to him I am not someone he'd WANT to come back to, and secondly, I exposed myself to his wayward craziness for too long which has been bad for my health.

I am hurting, and because of the pregnancy and the birth and a lot of other massive changes in my life outside of WH leaving, I have been stuck in a cycle of shock, anger, sadness, etc. It's been 8 months now since the bomb!

I don't know what to do once he is in the other country and living his life with OW.

Can you see any hope for my sitch, or should I be moving on?