Wife filed for divorce...Is there still hope?

[LSG]

The day I have been dreading for so long is coming up on Monday. I don't how it is that this time last year I was with W and the kids at the beach for a bonfire that she is at without me today. I could never have imagined then what it would like the same time this year. I am glad I did not know what was to come.

OM contacted her at 9:27 pm last night by TM.

She was going to take the kids to In and Out last night, and Son wanted me to go, so I went, and W said "ok." I do not have any money, and W would not buy my food, so D gave me some of her friies and a water, and I just enjoyed being with the kids. What a terrible feeling I had that I am doing something wrong being there. I always want a job and money because what she has told me I am feeling so much that way even if it is not my fault or I have done my best. It hits home so much for me.

I miss the kids today, and S and D wanted me to go, but W told them that they could go with me to see my friends. She told S I could not go. I did not expect anything different from her.

She is worse than ever with the way she treats me.

I pray and hope Monday that I prevail at the hearing. I sure do not know what else I have to lose but everything if the judge rules in her favor. It will be a big blow. I guess the worse that could happen is that I am homeless. I will survive. I will not give up the fight for my kids even then. I don't know how I will do it. I will just have to live and fight day-to-day.

I just want this day over.

I did wake the kids and get them ready for today. They are excited I know. I was disappointed, and I accept this will be the way that it is for me and them for the rest of their lives.

I have to find a way to deal with that and put my life together as soon as possible.

Monday is the day I will find out what my life will be like for the future.

Daughter did say she wants to be with me, not mommy, but she would like to visit her sometimes. S say, "he just wants to be with me, just the 2 of us.

This is taking its toll on in so many devastating ways.

I have to keep going and fight on for the kids. That is what keeps me going.